Tom's Web Diary

Tom is the man- this is what he says:

You know whats annoying? The fact that this site hasnt been updated in ages, and that the most recent web diary is like 5 months old, it makes me cry lumpy milk. Well This is probably going to be by last post, to gain some resolution in effect. I am, at this moment in my room at Bede Hall, Demontfort University, Leicester Campus. Its a good feeling of independence and it really is worth it, the workload isnt daunting thought reading a tragedy a fortnight makes me want to comit suicide with a dramatic purpose. I mean Hieronimo bites out his tounge! WTF is he retarded? Its all gravy, apart from when its cheese sauce. I will say this, try hard at school guys, its easy to dos around but its a crap feeling when you feel that you let your teachers down, well theres a couple i feel i let down more than others, and one teacher i couldnt give a crap about, but with those odds who cares. Long live everything. 'Snooch to the mother f*****g Nooch!' - Jay (Dogma). Journal Officially Closed, Bye.
Pointless Process, No Resolution
- Saturday, November 19, 2005 at 13:52:33 (CST)

So godfather 3, desperado, and the ipcress file STILL sit in the living room gathering dust. not much has changed...joining the kett it says on the page, joining. wow that was back in the day, moving a step up to A level. shows how much the site was updated, of course i am now out of the kett, moving on, spreading my wings, eating a carrot cake and (and upon my realisation that i hate carrot cake) throwing up. so to speak of course. well yeah never updated this much, but in my defence, did anyone ever read it...so anyway alots happened im going to uni, and im lovin it. see yall on the flipside. Norwich ghetto for real. bye all its been cool, apart from everyone i hated, you sucked balls. you thought you were cool but everyone hated you, take a hint and just sit alone and read fantastic mr fox to an empty shoe full of dreams. paradox, or iced bun?? bye legolas, bye gimli, bye clive, bye bobby davro, cya peeps. oh and cheers teachers and all that rubbish, so what if my grades were poo im going to uni and i couldnt care less so thanks and bye. 'Im like a rubix cube mixed with mick jagger'-Stephen Hawking
The End
- Wednesday, August 31, 2005 at 20:20:18 (CDT)

November. Holiday. So Good. Went there had fun, sang Darkness ate cheap food, Norwich lost, got home streets album purchased, bit chilly, nearly christmas. Ooo jolly roger.
Part Five : Wrath Of Khan
- Thursday, January 20, 2005 at 19:15:11 (EST)

October, sooo the godfather trilogy, desperado, and the ipcress file still sit in the living room gathering dust. i swear ill watch them soom. well ive seen the godfather so its a start. rite october something happened la di da, probably didnt do what i was sposed to, winged my way through school, which is a simple thing cos when the teacher asks: 'so tom whats your view on jane austens portrayal of wasps?' instead of doing the 'ooo look at me i cant think of anything so ill just say ummm or dunno or ask that schnitzel over there' i adopt the 'jane austen uses wasps to portray the elegant yet dangerous properties of love and society, with its yellow and black bits and it can sting you and sting you but it wont die!!!!' and whats with poetry, if i write 'the man sang a song, because god had 4 pack of cheese string' i have to say that the 4 cheese strings obviously represent matthew, mark, luke and john. the mans song is a mockery of prayer, which usually not spoken is almost a contradiction of a song. NOOOOOOO i wrote it cos im sitting here listening to some song i cant remember the title of cos the cd case is lost and a cheese string advert is on telly. so yeah!
Its Been A While Pt 4
- Thursday, January 20, 2005 at 19:09:31 (EST)

Septembre as the french say. But if you dont speak a meaningless language then its september. So its been so long it hurts, my birthday month! I like birthdays, proper amounts. 18! Its legal to drink, smoke for the previous 2 years, and be a gay. Went to Zaks for a BDAY super of burgers and chips and stuff. So i cant remember when but on a sad day johnny 5 died. yeah my computer lovable, reliable and relitively clean. it all stated when i realised someone had replaced my 6 way plug socket thing with a mank old three way plug, thats like taking away a blind mans guide dog and saying 'heres a fish'. MSN was a NO NO, email was a NO GO and the x brain was a YO YO. (Big Up to Yo Hans) yeah so johnny 5 named after that crazy mechanical pimp from short circuit 1 and 2. Wasnt so bad cos Lorna had a computer for me to use but now i think that has got a virus. I should stop opening those emails entitled 'hardcore swedish canine...' and 'me so horny me love you long time'. So our final thought, revenge is never a pretty thing whether a true act of fulfilling ones jelous desires or an inner rage can it really justify how utterly crap terminator 3 was?
Its Been A While Pt 3
- Thursday, January 13, 2005 at 19:19:31 (EST)

Sooo day 1: The Futureheads, fiery furnaces, dogs die in hot cars, brit sea power, kills, prophets, placebo, von bondies, 50 cent (boo) day 2: Ikara Colt, international noise conspiracy, modest mouse (then the big 4!) hives ash offspring darkness! 3: Razorlight (dont go round the houses), har mar (ez pass yo), ordinary boys (hurry up put your shoes on), Franz and Libs!! (take me out!) morrissey, oh god so much mental scaring. but then, then then!! oh my word, then! oh my golly gosh black math. oh my word jack and meg. it cant end on a better.........end. so that was leeds, but what happened in the last 3 months. hmmmmmm the drama...
Its Been A While (pt 2)
- Wednesday, November 24, 2004 at 17:37:49 (EST)

Double whammy again. Soz/Ciao. Tom
Apologies
- Wednesday, November 24, 2004 at 12:26:05 (EST)

Alright, so not much has happened since i last updated but heres a brief summary: White stripes live, litre can of lager, morrissey (not neil), compudeath, compubirth, compusomething, jesus in a tortilla, franz, mud, shoes, paint, the base, pubs, alessandro del piero, too pink?, crisps, foreign exchange, tiffs, bishes, whallops, sleep, sunsets, streets, last summer, del horno!, and a cd key disappearance. So august!!!!! LEEDS 2004 (not reading!)was awe-sumo bloody awe-sumo. so the scene is set, myself (your humble narrator) hank (the mark but not spike) dave (hanks bro) and JP (daves mate) leave on a voyage of booze and stuff. leeds (not reading) is a fair way away and listening to bands in the car getting in the mood and that while stopping off in cafes labelled 'englands best roadside cafe' opposite cafes labelled 'englands best roadside cafe' when leeds (not reading) is reached, and we hit traffic, im talking traffic, im talking pile up, im talking full scale biffy pilon renegade junction. but we have the sounds on and determination. Leeds! (not reading) is reached and by golly its huge, the car park is as big as (and im not exagerating) the moon. jeez louise. but we set up camp and get some water (me and hank risk life and limb to retrieve h2o from a nearby enemy compound, the bogs. but alls well that ends well, pot noodles are consumed and we sleep a well earned sleep, ready to be pounded to death in the face with 24 ounces of rock and roll, techno, funk, techno-funk, hydrolic mega bass, digimon al-quaida, and polyphonic jazz riffs...
It's Been A while (pt 1)
- Wednesday, November 24, 2004 at 12:24:21 (EST)

Hello! im slightly drunk, only slightly...like culumbo, or columbus, i forget. which one tried to sail to america but went to china and accidentally infested somewhere with jeremy clarkson? or was that pat cash? so yeah snazzy as. my weeks have been few and far between, i had a virus, a real one not like tim from accounts saying 'bleh server 1 has a level x trojan cow running maintenance and the ion routing contortionist has gone up the spazza, wheres terry i must simply have another of his continental muffins' or is that all a bit weird, like a poltergeist playing the organ getting bored and going to malta then realising that there is a house now not being haunted which means his reputation is up the swanny like michael bolton in a refugee camp, awkward but tall. so dentist was cool all teeth good, then i bought return of the king from co-op which made me feel scabby but also resourceful. then my nan came down which was nice and both brothers were in the same house at the same time while i played onimusha 3 and occasionally went 'i really should have saved' 'why' 'the big goblin cut me in half'. jean reno is in it as a french bloke and im thinking hey a game where you are in france and everyone speaks french = realistic, but no something happened and a fairy showed up and he sounded flippin american. but so blatently not him! i was shocked and tired so i ate my tea and watched something pointless. brickmakers! thats a nice place i went there a few times, but oasis is bad so i leave then i return to ABBA which is nice but also reeks of 70's camp. so all in all a good all round day. ciao munchkin rentoghost greek etc chap shubert splurting oblivious beige clappers. thats bye to you and him.
Deeper You Go The Higher You Fly.
- Monday, August 02, 2004 at 21:08:30 (EDT)

Hey howdy who ha, let me know if you need anything, im on till tuesday. So my week has really been slow, not in a bad way like slow people in front of you in a narrow alley, but slow like the slow decent of water onto a lilly pad, but a lilly pad made of real vanilla extract, covered in smash. Yeah so ill think of something relevant later, Bye.
Fill My Pie With Intelligence
- Wednesday, July 14, 2004 at 13:34:56 (EDT)

Hey...nothing interesting on the western front lately, went to the hall to view all the lovely art, in an art collector frame of mind, and saw becky's lennon piece which i truely though was pretty damn great, only to find out that it was crap in her mind, which left me standing there occasionally muttering 'well...i think its good' but thats just me. But i'm not one to criticise someones opinion because you cant change anyones opinion so the only option is to accept it and mosey on down the shops and buy some snacks!...no money...could i beg? So james van der beak, bt greedy on the unusual names front isnt he. But on a lighter note, leavers assembly was very cool, but did knocking on heavens door have the intro to stairway to heaven? It confused me and i couldnt ask anyone else because all i would get would be 'Led who?' So yeah lets all sleep in a 4 legged rest deliverer. Ciao.
Thwing! Where's The Wombat?
- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 19:27:41 (EDT)

There was a band at the summer ball? When? How did i not see/hear them. Why did nobody tell me! Oh the humanity. They were probably a post modern band they play nothing to reflect societies dependance and unsustained predictability towards the perception of bands and what they are for. In that case i would clap but it isnt post modern so instead i shall write a haiku.
Oh Dear, Where Are My Thumbs.
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 19:27:39 (EDT)

Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum...yes that is indeed the funeral march, or yes it could be ant and decs 'on the ball' but dums are quite intangible and so a logical conclusion cannot be drawn, all i can say is sing the funeral march in 'dums' and it will sound alright. England are out of euro 2004! no, the thing is, we should have won, campbells goal disallowed unfairly like every other goal he has ever scored. but i do not bear grudges i simply slap gorillas with haddocks, its fun and also productive...somehow. so my week, well, back at school! no lay ins, well apart from today when i overslept, by 5 hours, i need to start dreaming about waking up, or would that be scary? UEA tomorrow for the thing with the watsits (not crisps) and then a general wander around the city, little trick for you all...you know when your too knackered to walk home and there is no bus fare? well all you need to do is stand on a street corner and attempt a jazzy rendition of an improviosed expressive arts routine, while mainly ranting 'im a tree' or 'the world calls to my inner karma' because at the end of the day, karma is one letter away from korma...coincidence? right im going to have to leave you all now sorry for the delay, traffic was terrible, anyway...bye my psychopathic butlin dodgers!
Bees Buzz. Wasps Wuzz?
- Thursday, June 24, 2004 at 19:21:58 (EDT)

All my exams are over! yeah i know its superb but theres no reason to cry over it, weirdos. so first off...lierature. i get home sunday night at 2am and im after a nice monday lay in to revise for my TUESDAY lit exam, but i decide to check my exam timetable, it says the exam is on monday. surely thats wrong that means my exam is in....nah...cant be...surely not...7 hours from now. OH BUMMERY! but that went ok so i cant complain. MEDIA!! AHH-AHH SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE! was alright except i waited outside my media room for 5 mins before realising the exam wasnt going to be in their and was wishing the room next door would shut up talking bout how to fill in exam papers! ooo.....exam.....papers....i have an exam....in their...2 mins ago...BUMMERY!! but all went well! ECONOMICS Y'ALL!!! sooooo do i revise for supply side policies? nah none of that. long story short, BUMMERY/bearable. So social life wise...england lose! bloody Zizou thinking hes good just cos he can score a free kick and a pen against david james! i could!! james will probably blame it on lara croft, again. I saw bill bailey LIVE!! i havent laughed so much since...ever! bill bailey singing the okie-kokie in the style of kraftwerk. and watching mama mia the musical is like being hit round the head with an ikea door panel, it hurts but you've got to admire the craftmanship. Ciao you crazy basildon bartenders
Yar...Das Okie Kokie.
- Tuesday, June 15, 2004 at 09:42:02 (EDT)

I could summarise life in 5 words, if i had a pen. Summer ball yo, what a night! The soup was nice, mine was made by budweiser. I fell off my chair. twice. And the bar wasnt open till 2!! the ticket said 2!! i wasnt 45 mins drinking time, or its cash equivelant. So anyway ciao peeps, enjoy yourselves just dont over do it, cos if you over do it you could have a bad time. If you pizza when your supposed to frenchfry your gonna have a bad time.
DJ Megabyte featuring a Gig of Ram
- Tuesday, June 01, 2004 at 18:10:52 (EDT)

english language. oh my god. please just avoid it. please choose another subject. dont put yourself through what i just went through. i feel like going up to deborah tannen and hitting her over the head with a plankton. and roberto lakkoff-anything-remotely-interesting-to-say needs a swift jab to the neck with a rusty swordfish. but when u look back at the past year, i think to myself, would i have found english any easier if i had actually tried, somehow i doubt that is the point. summer ball is coming up, that should be fun. so on conclusion : melchiot.
Fact Me Till I Fart
- Wednesday, May 26, 2004 at 07:55:25 (EDT)

Whoa im gonna fail english. dodododo, back to the island. whoa we gonna have a party, why am i singing vengaboys? so anyway revision dont work, all i can gather is that deborah tannen needs some happy pills and robin lakoff is a boring bloke with big ears and a death wish. bt at the end of the day if we all lost our memories tomorrow would we care? would we share? would we dare? i think thats mild alliteration with a hint of the 3 times repetition theory. Boomshank yo.
Uzi Lover
- Tuesday, May 25, 2004 at 06:17:33 (EDT)

2 in the morning, no sink, no fridge, no carpet, no kitchen infact. The builders took it all, and im left which no where to put the kettle on! Tiredness is gathering speed and yawns are getting painful, and ive got a microwave and a cooker in my bedroom. Work was naff but luckily the PS2 kept me sane. Kill Bill 2 is a very cool film, shout out to Soraya and her flying saucers and shout out to Rick due to be born next year, good luck with that! Night you crazy shabadashers keep it real fo sho.
All I Want Is A Sink
- Saturday, May 15, 2004 at 20:53:33 (EDT)

Sorry for the double whammy pressed refresh twice! Duufus!!
Ooops
- Wednesday, May 12, 2004 at 19:28:48 (EDT)

Oi oi im tired im wired whos up for a jam eating contest? so anyway thats my day! cya later. possibly update when im not so 'meh'. Cool runnings!
What A Load Of Old Rubbish
- Wednesday, May 12, 2004 at 19:27:07 (EDT)

rite time for more updation. how are you all, ah thats good. me oh im fine, thanks for asking. whats happened?? well ive got a few dvds kill bill and the day today, buy both now cos they are cool. yet to see kill bill vol. 2 will see it with soraya and rick, next week. lets hope! had a cheese and pepperoni toasty and watched the new seires of top gear, the db9 is so cool it gets its own fridge. i suddenly love the gorillaz again and ordered the dvd and cd, it was inevitable really an animated band playing in a grave yard wasnt gonna fail! so yeah thats enough about me. better be off got school in the morning, cant be late. or else ill be slapped with a fish. and not just any fish but one with spikes and things. so in summary : breezes.
In a Word? No. In A Sound? Wooooauu
- Sunday, May 09, 2004 at 16:43:45 (EDT)

Updation once more, wow nothing much has happened. 6th form block and common room were out of bounds, some people still went through the language oral exam riddled hall but i have an unfortunate fear of orange tape so i couldnt venture anywhere near the area. orangetapephobia its called. I saw shaun of the dead, which if you havent seen is superb, the best british zombie film ever, well the only british zombie film. So apart from that its been a week full of yawns and boredom. Unless you count being drenched by mountains of rain an interesting event, and having to sit in a leaky classroom being driven insane by drips of water falling on the desk. Damn fatcats, cut school budgets and they can affort plantinum cigars and cars made of jam.
And The Headline's Tonight
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 at 11:37:58 (EDT)

Right ive been ordered to update my page, i say ordered i mean asked. so what up in the tom ghetto? not alot. kill bill came out and was good, lots of albums have been purchased. lots of tv watched. lots of watsits consumed. oh yeah and i dislocated my knee! how could i forget that?! well while playing football at school a man who shall remain nameless, lets say adam. kicked a ball which i attempted to block with my leg but unfortunatley my foot didnt move. twist and pop!! knee cap went to its new home on the side of my leg. painful yes, but funny to all my so called mates. so apart from that not much has happened, ill try and think of more stuff soon! what is the appropriate food to accompany egg custard? mayo or rhubarb??
The Definate Article
- Friday, March 26, 2004 at 16:33:19 (EST)

2 updates in one night!! one being my site of course www.freewebs.com/thetonifullerexperience !!! so anyway soraya has been nagging for a good 10 minutes and im on the brink of insanity, and homework to be done. Still maintain my 'study first kill bill later' i went through 8 bills before i perfected that one. So anyway kett life, ahhh, what a chore. only the elite in the SHS ranks are allowed in, and me, and we undertake gruelling regimes and maintain the premium education equilibrium. can u guess wen i ran out of stuff to write. well goodbye anyone who is connected to the interweb and has time to read this stuff.
La la lo le
- Friday, November 07, 2003 at 15:29:08 (EST)

Well this is a rather knackering week. Homework, work, no lay ins all coupled with the fact that the neighbors are drill enthusiasts who like nothing more than to wake me up as early as possible. Apart from that i can't complain (well i could but who cares) just watched pirates of the caribbean after weeks of movie avoidance and personally cant wait for Kill Bill to come out which if you dont know is Quentin Tarantino's 4th film, which is nice, and should be a rite old gore fest. Back to the subject i am enjoying life at kett and should really do some H/W rather than doing this, but i cant resist listing my thoughts while listening to some japanese hardcore garage funk, it happens to all of us.
Better Late Than Never.
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 14:11:02 (EDT)