Stew 'the man' Halton
This is a record of the life and times of
the man
Good to see your keeping up with my 'Latest' news Fish. No major events spring to mind when I review the last few weeks. I mean I saw a few people as they came back from Uni, and during that time we convinced Smit to come to Magaluf with us in July. He came in, but 3 had to pull out - I am unaware as to why they had to pull out but there are now 8 of us going. That means 2 rooms with 4 people in (Still) got my maths knowledge.
Also went out for Jimmy G's birthday not long ago which was nice - we went for a meal where we saw an old school friend, then went to drinking and clubbing - was a good night! Apart from going out every so often it's been pretty lame. Beany invited me out the other night - what a funny night that was! Met up with him in the glasshouse at about 6 then pub-crawled our way down to riverside. Met people we knew along the way including Nathan Graham, then met John Bradley and Danny Reeve in Lloyds. Anyway, to cut a long story short; We had a laugh, we met up with mates, we got drunk and since that night im seeing a girl in her late 20's. LOL!!!
Dammit fish, we gotta get everyone out one night!!!
Hello Mr Fish
- Thursday, May 13, 2004 at 08:57:50 (EDT)
Hey everybody, hows it going? I dont expect many people will read this, probably because they have given up hope of me writing anything! Anyway, I have genuine reason as to why I haven't updated this little baby in a while - I'm Lazy!
Back to relevance, I dont know if anybody knows where I work, but i'll inform you all anyway. I work for an accountancy firm called, Argents. Its pretty cool and everything is going well. I get to wear suits and look the part, which is an added bonus.
I dont get to see too many school-mates anymore which is a bit of a shame, the lads I see the most are Wilma (when he's not having a dump), Jimmy G and Mikey Hearn. It was good to see the Uni people again while they were back - playing football up the rec was cool, but it'd be nice to catch up with more people to find out how they are doing.
I'm going to Magaluf this summer - gonna be quality. It should be really good cos everyone who's going gets on well, and i've heard there's some more people from round here going in a different group, which is cool! Smit is still a maybe, and Wilma is going to buy a pipe, so he can sit on the balcony, refuse to come clubbing and sit out at night puffing away drinking whisky. (Just joking man ;) )!!
I met a nice girl a few weeks ago who is 23, she seemed nice got to know her better then found out she had a kid - "Walk away, not today! Disco Ladyyy!!"
Finally, I only smoke after making luv - so back home i'm a kinda 20-a-day guy!!
Catch ya later
Afterwards...
- Monday, April 19, 2004 at 09:20:44 (EDT)
'Sup people, I dont know about you, but i've certainly been a busy lil' monkey!!! Its kinda weird to think that people Ive known for hell of a long time have left or will be leaving very shortly, but thats life I guess!!!
What have I been up to? You probably dont really care, but i'll inform you anyway!!! Since receiving "OK" grades, I landed a trainee job as an Accounting Technician in the city! Its a pretty good job, nice wage, easy to get to, so Im having a good time there! It's called Reeves and Neylan Chartered accountants, but as of tomorrow it will be known as Argents Business and Taxation advisors! Nice.....
I passed my driving test, WOOHOO! Because of that, it seems like im spending a hell of a lot of money, but thats life!
I cant really recall much else that I have done, apart from obviously going out, meeting people and chillin with mates! Work certainly does change things though; You have to be more understanding with time, and consider things that might affect how you feel in the morning (like not drinking too much and possibly coming home early)!
Just started playing for a football team, Easton FC! Had my second game for them yesterday and scored our opening goal, which cant be bad!!!
Only other thing to tell you is that Me and Michael Hearn have been making a website to pass time in the evenings! It's something you can have a giggle at so check it out a jimschimp.8k.com!
Catch ya later
Stu - Business man and footballer
Sorry for the delay
- Sunday, September 28, 2003 at 13:45:32 (EDT)
Well, I couldnt put it off any longer, I had to make another contribution to my web diary! Had another stressful day at work, but earnt a lot of money in comission and finished top of the sales chart (gutted Kerron), and I was welcomed home by the smell of burnt meat! Yup, mum was doing a BBQ! So, its time to relax until tomorrow when I had a revision packed day, and a meeting for work at night! "Grrrr" is all I can say to that!
Mr Ford, it's not me who's got a "thing" for George "Careless Whisper" Michael, im afraid its Smit and Wilma, mainly due to the chest wig and Aviator specs!
So, I have 1 exam left, ICT on tuesday! I'm not really looking forward to this exam, in fact im human, im not ever going to look forward to an exam! I'm hoping to see people out Thursday, namely "everyone" for a good old fashioned drink and chill down Riverside! I'll be disappointed with whoever is not out without a valid reason, and I'll also be disappointed it Beany and Fish dont cut some of their very own shapes on the dancefloor! Fordy, im loking forward to see you dance!
Here's a quote from William "Wild Bill" Daynes. "I mean who would want to leave a loving environment where your boss hurls equipment at your head & calls you a jessy behind your back?" - I'm sorry Bill, did you say you worked at Ian Moncurs?!
I'm certainly looking forward to the summer; Chillin with mates, games of golf/tennis/football, BBQ's, My Party (14th August remember) and of course working on the sketch show with my close mates. Me, Wilma, Hearn, Smit and Hash are the directors and writers of the new show, and the sketches start "us" plus hhighly trained actors such as Jimmy G, Beany and Fish! It should be good fun as filming starts very soon!
Catch you all later (26th June)
Stu Halton - Salesman and Director
Livin' in a box.......
- Saturday, June 21, 2003 at 20:02:37 (BST)
Well, where else can I begin apart from Lake's Birthday!? Well it was a happy and quality night all round! After a few takards and swift halfs we descended onto the stage to sing a few songs and make some noise! I cant really remember what songs I did but they all seemed to go quite well, including Blue - All Rise and Bryan Adams - Everything i do! The talking point of the night had to be.......you guessed it.........Lake's singing voice! Oh yeah, and Smit, I almost forgot about his minor antics! Smit whisked away a lady using the famous George Michael line, "Lets go outside!" but taking the line too literally, he took his associate into the wilderness, popping his head up over the fence like a comedy Meercat when we were looking for him! Once outside, Smit used the line, "Would you like to stroke my coat?" to L*cy F*x.
Sunday was my day of rest, lying in and letting the effects of John Smiths and Smirnoff Black (Not SCHmirnoff Red Wilma) take their toll. Once awake it was time to revise, but what a scorcher!! After putting it off for long enought I ventured outside and revised in the sun like a good lad!!! It was so nice, i treated my parents to a BBQ which went very well.
Finally, my 2 exams today! IT at Jex wasnt too bad, but more of a chore! It was quite comical this morning, because when I turned u for my exam, I had a "fro", Smit had a "fro" and come to think of it, even some of the girls had a "fro"! Everyone apart from Comedy Ed, who's hair had been successfully gelled by his pet monkey. English was OK in the afternoon, but again more of a chore! 3 Down, 2 to go......
14th August, Results day, Free house......
Thinking of having a BBQ in the afternoon and Garden/House party at night, all invited!
Let me know what you think!
Stu Halton
Sonnet and Owed-A-Pint-By-Beany
Holy Moley!
- Monday, June 16, 2003 at 22:21:32 (BST)
"Does my bum look big in this?"
"BIG?! It's like 2 badly parked Volkswagons!"
Well, after weeks.....*cough*.....days of anticipation, I faced the horror that was my first A2 exam today! Interesting prospect some of you may think, (the clever people that is), but i'm not an exam person to be honest. There are several things I hate; sitting being one, writing being another, and clowns being the last. Clowns have no relevace here so i'll just continue to moan about damn exams. Why do they have to bunched up and so long as well, its just not fair. Im more of an active person that a theoretical person, so other people may have different opinions.
Wilma, can you really picture Smit streaking round Wimbledon?! And worse still, is he shouting "Give me my strawberries and Cream!" or anything along those lines. Or does he run on when an umpire calls for "New balls"? Well, it doesnt bare thinking about if you ask me!
Wilma, bless his little rubber socks lost his wallet yesterday and lost a fair bit. If you ask me it wasnt his own fault. I know he's tried to blame me because I confused him with a riddle, but it wasnt me people! It was because of the woman in McDonalds (Grease Stadium 1900 - 2003) who asked "How many Jelly Babies are in this tub? 50p to play and the money goes to charity!" During this time of pondering once Wilma had paid, I reckon he lost it then!"
I have to work Saturday, party saturday night for Lake's shindig, and have 2 exams on monday! Grrr! Its English Editorial Writing, which can be good depending on what you have to write about and an IT exam at Jex. Grrr!
Again, good luck and stay safe! Catch ya later
Stu Halton - Footballer and playwrite
Does my bum look big in this?
- Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 19:35:42 (BST)
I'm sorry Smit, did you mutter something in your drunken state!? Ahh well, it was fun to see you gloat about beating Danny Reeve (The Big Red Machine) at cards, and then Crash out first in a competitive game involving Me, Wilma, Lake, Tuttle and Partyboy!
After that game he was content in playing Pokemon whilst we shouted at him through the glass in the next room! Good times, eh?
Bill? Ann Summers party? Well all I can say is that its "A Comfort Thing" and you werent invited this time because of what happened last time! Yes, you turned up in your Gollem outfit, painted green and kept going on about "Your Precious!"
Revision, what a bore! Ive done quite a lot more already than what I expected to achieve, but I always seem to not know the important things and stuff we do in mock exams, grrr! I also get a bit of a shock when people tell me they are still doing coursework and havent started revision! What do you think you are, students?!?!
Dunno if you all know, but I'm jetting off with some of the lads to Magaluf next year to enjoy the sun, sand, sea, and errrr.....many other things! We're planning to show the locals how to play football and drink like real men, hehe! Grrr! I'm speding the holiday week with my good mates DS, Beany, Lake, Jimmy, Forcey, Tom Smith and Fish, who I am worried about! Fish is not usually amused by low standards and he's vented his feelings publicly in places such as Pizza Hut - when the cuttlery was "dirty", and twice when we went to Mousehold to play golf - Once when a half naked jogger ran past, and when some "Punk Kids" ran onto the fairway! I tell you, it wasnt pretty!
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he asked me, "Does it burn when you pass water?"
"No, errrrmmm....Ive never tried to light it!"
Keep the faith and good luck with exams!
Stu Halton
'Sup Chica's
- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 21:39:27 (BST)
Well, I've just got back from work for the evening! Damn I hate that place! I work at Comet, "Nice" anyone else might think considering I am on comission, but the fact is, I cant stand the hassle and the targets, especially when I have exams to think about. Anyway, mood time over!
Considering I am revising, and exams are peeping round the corner, I'm taking most things quite well. I imagined that I would be easily aggrovated and disgruntled, but I'm cool!
One of my buds, Adam Smith has a way with women. They always seem to fall at his feet.......mainly cos he uses Chloroform, but thats another story... I was really bored the other day and fancied making a drink, not thinking straight I asked my mate Dan Fisher, "Whats the main ingredient in Hot Chocolate?" Looking puzzled he replied, "Errrr chocolate!" I realised he was obviously wrong, so I corrected him and told him the correct answer should have been "Errol Brown"!!!!! "I believe in Miracles, Where you from? You sexy THANG!" Man, his brain moves quicker than a Nun's first curry!!!
I must again, refer back to the Summer Ball, where apart from the fact that I couldnt get into my own room at one point, I had a great time! I heard a girl say the other day how smooth Hashim Piperdy looked! I couldnt help but agree! He looker sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that had been rolled up into a point, srpinkled with salt and jabbed into somebodys eye. Also, Eddie Myers had me in stiches most of the night, Im gonna miss all my buds!!!
Anyway Fans, catch ya later.....
Its All Gravy.......
- Wednesday, June 04, 2003 at 21:13:18 (BST)
Well, I've just got back from work for the evening! Damn I hate that place! I work at Comet, "Nice" anyone else might think considering I am on comission, but the fact is, I cant stand the hassle and the targets, especially when I have exams to think about. Anyway, mood time over!
Considering I am revising, and exams are peeping round the corner, I'm taking most things quite well. I imagined that I would be easily aggrovated and disgruntled, but I'm cool!
One of my buds, Adam Smith has a way with women. They always seem to fall at his feet.......mainly cos he uses Chloroform, but thats another story... I was really bored the other day and fancied making a drink, not thinking straight I asked my mate Dan Fisher, "Whats the main ingredient in Hot Chocolate?" Looking puzzled he replied, "Errrr chocolate!" I realised he was obviously wrong, so I corrected him and told him the correct answer should have been "Errol Brown"!!!!! Man, his brain moves quicker than a Nun's first curry!!!
I must again, refer back to the Summer Ball, where apart from the fact that I couldnt get into my own room at one point, I had a great time! I heard a girl say the other day how smooth Hashim Piperdy looked! I couldnt help but agree! He looker sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that had been rolled up into a point, srpinkled with salt and jabbed into somebodys eye. Also, Eddie Myers had me in stiches most of the night, Im gonna miss all my buds!!!
Anyway Fans, catch ya later.....
Its All Gravy.......
- Wednesday, June 04, 2003 at 21:11:02 (BST)
I'm trying to concentrate and write something serious for a change, but how is it possible when James O'Beirne is singing "Time Goes By", and badly as well! Smit ia beavering away next to me listening to the "Godfather of Soul", Mr James Brown himself!
Ok, I'll abandon the seriousness! I ventured inot the city the other day for a chill with my mates! Wilma, Hash and Shea were all on time and we had to wait for Smit to turn up! He is now known as "The Beast Of Bad Timing". Eventually he rolled up on his Ped and demanded some quality time to spruce up his White-Man-Fro hair, which he obtained by wearing a helmet. We decided to buy a football and head down to Chapelfield gardens to enjoy a kickaround and a drink in the midday heat! It was all good fun! ......By the way, its raining at the moment, and according to Wilma, "Michael Fish sucks ****" - because he said it would be sunny!
Anyway, back to my original story! We played football, using the classic jumpers for goal-posts. We played quite near a shrubbery and everytime the ball went in there a voice shrieked, "I'll get it!" Yes, Hash kept darting into the wilderness to get the ball, and returning with a grin on his face! Ok, we'll end the story there! Shea and Hash decided to play "Life-Size" chess, Wilma finished off his girly drink and we all departed! I was welcommed home by the smell of a BBQ and Smit went home to play PoKeMoN!
"Price check on Vagiclean, Isle 5! We got a full on fallopian fungus here!"
Catch ya later!
Stu H - Poet and a Gentleman
Dammit Bean.......
- Monday, June 02, 2003 at 12:08:07 (BST)
Smit, I think Clarky won the battle of drinking, as I didnt get THAT bad! Clarky did however, invite me to prop the bar up with him at the ball - I politely declined thinking that if I did, I would become as stable as an Italian Taxi driver who's got stuck behind 2 old priests in a Skoda!
My next point concerns the "Drama Queen" himself, Wilma! In all honesty I would have to agree with him, when he says that the awards were all in good fun, and a lot of people spent valuable time to make such comical awards, and carry out the vote-counting! I was nominated for 3 awards and left with bugger all, exept a smile, Cos I knew it was all in good fun (tho I wouldnt have minded picking up the Porn St*r award).
I was pondering the other day, I was bored at the time i'll admit. But I wondered why things are how they are. Manchester United were relegated from the old First Division when Tommy Doherty was manager. He was known as "Doc", or "Happy" after he was accused of having an fling with the physio's wife, and "Sleepy" shortly afterwards. I came back to my original point, why did they go down? Well nobody knows, but there are several explanations.
1 - George Best was in charge of interval drinks.
2 - There was a postal strike, meaning the referees did not receive their cheques on time.
Anyway, theories over! Have a nice day all!!!
Stu Halton
Hmmmm......
- Thursday, May 29, 2003 at 12:54:01 (BST)
the Summer Ball! Everyone pulled out all the stops to look quite "Chic" that
night - I think I told a few people that in my Merry state! It was a great
laugh, and well done to all the award winners - "Big it up to table 10" who
picked up 6 outta the 11 awards!
I got 3 hours sleep that night, and
during the time between going to bed and getting up, I managed to pick up an
injury, Wierd! I shared the room with Smit and Wilma, who both slept on the
floor! My god does Smit snore! He sounded like a wounded animal when he was
asleep, waking me up a few times with the "growl" that came from his direction.
James O'Beirne woke me up with a pointless phonecall, thanx for that man! After
getting outta bed, having a wash and getting dressed, Wilma went home to get
ready for work, (Even tho he had to work about 6 hours later), and me and Smit
ventured to the "Eating Arena" known as McDonalds, where we had breakfast. We
got back to the Hotel to find Tristram had slept in a bath, Richard Lake looked
half dead and Beany was enjoying "SMTV" trying to play the game, "Wonkey Donkey"
where he failed dismally.
Later that day I played golf, had dinner at the
Tesco café, played cards in Beany's car and had some photo's developed. I was
also fortunate enough to get tickets to see the Matrix Reloaded! Its a damn good
film with a hive of twists, and "Agent Smith" is yet again,
legendary!
Thanx to everyone at 6th form for an eventful and enjoyable 2
years, Its been a pleasure!
My e-mail address is stuhalton7@hotmail.com
if you wanna keep in touch!
Stu Halton
Morning after 2 nights
before!
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 15:22:17 (BST)
Cheers Dr E - Your a Legend!
Legend
- Thursday, May 22, 2003 at
20:35:46 (BST)
Me being the dumb fool that I am forgot to spot that my own name was spelt
wrong, silly me! It's spelt, "Stewart"......Sorry Dr E, I should have spotted
that earlier!
Stewart Halton
---------------
Oh I
forgot.......
- Thursday, May 22, 2003 at 20:05:29 (BST)
It's thursday night, its raining, im bored! Usually about this time on a
thursday night I would be heading off down the city to enjoy a swift-half, and
then come home about 2:00am ready for school the next day! Its all gravy....but,
I decided not to as in about 24 hours time, it is of course, Summer Ball time!
I cant wait, I've bought another suit for the occasion! It should be a
great night, and I think its time to say, "Well done!" to Paula, Vicky and Laura
who worked hard to arrange a lot of things! :D
Anyway, Ive enjoyed my
experience at Sixth form, its been a good learning curve and "Roller Coaster" of
a ride experience for me! We've got a good bunch at Sixth form and it'll be an
emotional end to say the least!
Ok, 24 hours, I better start getting
ready!
In the words of Ace Ventura - "If im not back in five minutes,
just wait longer!"
Let me begin.....
- Thursday, May 22, 2003 at
20:02:14 (BST)