Paula's Web Diary

This is a record of the life and times of Paula

Man, it's been a while! I was amazed I could still remember how to get into it to add more! I'm still at Superdrug :-(, though hopefully not for too much longer. And I made the decision not to go to the UEA next year. I know a couple of people who might want to squawk at me about that, but I really hate studying, so i'm gonna find a job, and finally live my life the way I want to. And as i felt no regrets when i pressed the button that confirmed my rejection of the offers, I felt no regrets, just a sense of satisfaction in doing what I wanted. I had a good easter seeing various people, just made me wonder what everyone else is up to. Ah well, should prbably go revise some driving theory or something... To anyone who reads this, take care. And don't be afraid to fall, gettin up again makes it worth it. I hit rock bottom, the climbed back, with the help of my friends, now everything is so much more precious. X
the story so far...
- Wednesday, April 28, 2004 at 15:17:39 (EDT)

Normally I love snow, and was thrilled to wake up and see everything pretty and white. Now I hate snow. it normally takes me 30 minutes to get home from work, I got on a bus at 4:25, and got home 7:30ish. I was not a happy bunny, but I was one of the lucky ones, ie I was home before midnight. And then I couldn't gwet to wokr on thurs, so i went crazy at home. well, actually i cooked. That's what5 I do when I'm bored-make biscuits and cakes. Now I'm spending the weekend at my Aunt's, spending most of the time playing with my gorgeous one-year old cousin. Anyways, i hope the rest of u r all ok etc. and remember, To Experience The Rainbow, First You Must Experience The Rain. Take care, Xx
i hate snow.
- Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 07:01:17 (EST)

ok, my job is at Superdrug in the mall, and it's actually an ok job! I'm really looking forward to xmas, and spending sum quality time with Bob and my friends.
So who is going to the awrds 2mo? I am, being a certificate winner, I don't actually know (or care) what the certificates mean (if anything), but should be fun to see people!
I wish it'd snow, I love watching and walking in snow. Don't like being hit with the stuff tho.
So you've all survived the first term of uni/few months in the "real world"? Good luck for the rest of forever!
And well-done to the Kurds and US Soldiers for capturing Saddam. I suppose that was their objective, and I hope proper justice is done, nothing hasty or too vindictive.
Well, enjoy your xmas hols and have a merry new year! Cya, xx
Merry Christmas!
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 13:23:27 (EST)

I got a job! Finally! So that's basically all my news. Tho I have got unconditional offers for English Lit or English studies, but I got till april to make up my mind! laters, x
yay!!!!!!
- Tuesday, December 02, 2003 at 14:10:06 (EST)

strange how songs bring back memories, and not always welcome ones at that! well, I'm still unemployed, broke, ill and tired.
But looking forward to xmas! One of my faveourite times of year, i love everything- xmas shopping, wrapping presents, making sweets (old family tradition!), then opening presents and the whole festive atmosphere.
Is everyone going to the presentation evening in dec? just wondered if anyone was planning on going, and who they were.
hmm, anyway, I don't really have anything to say. But I'm glad everyone appears to be enjoying uni, and I hope 6th form is going ok. later.
hmmm.........
- Tuesday, November 04, 2003 at 13:46:50 (EST)

So jarrold's don't want me as a sales asisstant. The student Loan company decided to ignore the fact that I'd come home (and yes, I did tell the county council) and put the first payment of the loan into my bank account. and I need a job!!!!!!! Well, I hope 6th form is going ok. And to ex-yr 13s, did u not think the yearbooks were useless- bad pictures and too much repetition of various people??? Ah well, byebye!!!! x
bored. and broke. Random Ramblings.
- Friday, October 17, 2003 at 14:43:50 (EDT)

Do u ever get the 'matrix' feeling, where u just wanna slip out of this reality into something totally different? I'm glad I'm home, it was the right decision, don't get me wrong, but I just don't know what I wanna do next year. And it's so hard being at home, there's just not enough space for everyone! well, c'est la vie I suppose, sucks tho. lol, I'm gonna go beofer this gets even more deppressing and boring! later, x
I'll take the red pill please..........
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 06:40:35 (EDT)

Ok, so I see Laura's given me an ultimatum...... Well, I'm back in Norwich. i decided Portsmouth was too far away to be on my own, especially after what I went through in year 10 and 11, I really did not need to feel isolated. So I'm back for a gap year of work, then maybe off to the UEA. I feel bad for letting people down (sorry Mum and Dad) but not as bad as if I'd stayed. Besides, I'd been having doubts since May, so is time I did what I wanted rather than than what I thought I should do.
Hmm, this prob ain't a good example to set all u 6th formers, but... Nevamind. if you're going away to uni, make sure you're strong enough to cope. Better than being miserable is to stay at home. This ain't a particularly cheerful entry, so I'll stop now and let u know the result of the chat I gotta have with Mrs Mahood on monday. ByseBye. X
home sweet home
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 16:34:49 (EDT)

ok, I leave tomorrow. Not good- am just trying to pretend it ain't happening. well, I'll let u know how well I survive. Later, xx
...
- Friday, September 26, 2003 at 17:25:54 (EDT)

2 weeks. Scary scary scary. There is a growing pile of stuff in our lounge that I'm supposed to be taking with me, and that doesn't include clothes, shoes, cosmetics, shower stuff, photos, food, soft toys.... Thank goodness for parents and their cars!!!!
What Will said in his diary sounds so, um, right. There is no really sophisticated way for me to say that, but always take the time to show and tell people you love them. Especially now with friends moving away, keep in touch with them. And ring your parents now and then to talk to them without beging for money!
Anyways, time for another little panic, I think this one will be about "How am I gonna survive without my mum's cooking???" (I've already done the ones about using a washing machine, having no money, etc!)! lol. I'm not really falling apart, I just feel like it. Now I've stopped making sense, I really am gonna go.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee. xx
scared.
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 15:43:25 (EDT)

Good luck to all u ex-yr 12s going back, and good luck to the new ones!I wasso excited on my first day of 6th form, bit sad really, but hey-we all need some excitement in our lives! It's 25 days till I go off to Portsmouth, and I've been so busy, sorting out stuff, buying kitchen stuff and staionary... It's so expensive!!!! I am sooo incredibly grateful to my parents for all their help-so kids, if you're thinking abut going to uni,now is the time to start being REALLY nice to yur parents!!! Anyways, better go. Laterz, xx
good luck
- Tuesday, September 02, 2003 at 16:28:30 (EDT)

Ok, I had wonderful results, which were a great birthday surprise, and a great day overall. Not too sure about the singing in Pizza Hut guys, but thanks anyway!! I had great prezzies too- an icecream maker- yum yum, and something nice and sparkly!! plus I got my laptop. But enough boring ppl with that.
So am off to Portsmouth on 27th september, and I'm absolutely terrified! I'm looking forward to getting away, but there is soo much to do still, and it seems so close. Ah well.
Well, well done to everyone who got what they wanted, and if that didn't happen, I hope you've been able to sort out what you need. A final BIG thanks to my teachers.
Good luck for whatever comes next! xx
Woohoo!
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 20:04:20 (BST)

I've just noticed how badly spelt my last entry is- not exactly good news for a (possible) future Englsh student! The 'possible' is in there, because I am again having doubts. I haven't actually told anyone except my boyfriend this, so i don't know why I am telling people via the internet, it's less personal i guess, and I don't have to face up to the disappointed faces. I just don't know if I can face up to the whole being away by myself yet. I wanna get away, but dunno if i could face the lonliness.

But anyway,the less I think of september the better,m it's just like a big, black, scary, hole to me at the mo.

Well, we had a great holiday in Newquay- lots of alcohol and gorgeous guys wandering around! Spent waay too much dosh, so will spend the summer quite sane and sober, for a while anyway! Highlights of the hol definatley have to be the meal on monday night (Laura's b-day), finding our 'private' beach, Laura inhaling helium and our last meal. And we had gorgeous weather all week, which added to the relaxed atmosphere. Newquay is so magical at night, totally romanticdown on the beach away from the clubs, not sure aout the slepping on the beach thing tho! Have definatley got into that whole living away from home thing, no curfew, no sisters, eating when want... lol.

So, hope everyone has a great hol, and that results day aint too harsh. i'm sure we will all be there dead on 10:30am, or not, eager to see what the fates have in store for us.

Well, I hope that one was better spelt! Stay safe, and remember to have the time of your life, whatever you're doing- if you're not enjoying it, it's probably time to stop doing it!

Love and peace to you all, xx
post-holiday slump
- Sunday, July 13, 2003 at 18:07:14 (BST)

What Will said, about his experience and the year 9 guy really struck a chord. I went through a similar thing in year 10 and 11, and though i feel a lot better now, I still have moments where I feel really down, and the physical scars still show. So I can only repeat Will's advice, support those who are feeling depressed, and those that are depressed, keep fighting for yourself, and don't let anyone make u feel inferior. Eleanor Roosevelt said "Noone can make you feel inferior withour our consent." Life is precious, and even if you can't see it now, there is always omething worth fighting for, believe me. Later, xx
sober thoughts
- Saturday, June 28, 2003 at 18:49:35 (BST)

They are finally OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sociology crime and deviance. Not exactly a treat of a paper, but could have been majorly much worse! And Mrs King is buying us drinks on thurs night- that's the kind of teacher we like. (Other teachers take note- 6th formers like to socialise!) I am so happy that I don't actually ever have to come back here again, though i will do for the leavers assembly, and to get my results, but there is also so much sadness- high school changed me soo much, I met my bestfriends here, I met my wonderful boyfriend here, and I've grown up. Lots of tears yeah, but all in all they've been out numbered by the smiles! And the best bit of advice I can give, to anyone, not just prospective 6th formers, is to be yourself, do actually revise for your exams, but relax as well, and remember that teachers aren't all evil, some are actually really good, and are easy to talk to. At this point I really want to thank Mrs Rolfe for 6 years of teaching and advice, Mrs King for allowing our soc lessons to get our of control (!!) and Mr Ball for giving me much needed advice- good luck at your new school Sir, and if u stay in tough with Bob, I'm sure we'll meet again! And to the rest of the teachers that have guided me throguh this year, and Mrs Mahood, thanks for the help and support! And to 6th formers- time to CELEBRATE!!! Have great summers all round, and good luck at uni/college or in your new jobs. Love Me, xx
BIG SMILE!!!
- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 11:11:16 (BST)

Ok, so 3 exams to go, or one week left, whichever sounds best! And I still ain't got that revision thing sorted! Never mind, I had a great weekend, tho I stayed in, thanks to my RAF boyfriend being home.
I've got a feeling that our leaving assembly is gonna be pretty emotional, i can remember the tears after our year 11 one,but this will prob be so different cos we're a lot closer as a year group. Then the week after that is my holiday with Vicky and Laura- a week of sun (hopefully), sea (surfers!), sand (beach-lazing), freedom (finally) and alcohol (hehehe!). I'd advise everyone to go one holiady after their A-Levels- you will deserve, and need, it! And then the 14th august, whish to most of you means results, but to me mainly means, as previously mentioned, my 18th birthday! Dunno what am gonna do tho, and people keep saying they've got my present, or have a great idea- do u guys know how annoying that is?? lol. anyway, I suppose I gotta go do some revision. And my driving instructor didn't write down that i had a lesson booked this evening, so now I've got the evening free... Anyways, later. xx
almost over!
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 18:57:35 (BST)

Well that's the first exam over, and the second one tomorrow... double sociology one at that!! So this is a big shout out to all in my soc class, it's certainly been.... interesting!! With Wilma's trashy tabloid reading, Hash's strong dislike of feminism, Claire's feminist arguments, various excuses for missing homework... well, i could go on all day. Y'know, there's always one class u kinda look forward to,not really for the subject or the teacher (tho King and Rolfe r ok!), but for the people in the lesson who make u laugh. Through high school I barely spoke to most people in that class, or various others around 6th form, but now we just all talk to each other, like some invisible barriers have been broken. Yeah, some are still there, but if they haven't broken by now, they r not going to, and it's not worth bothering about. So, good luck to Wilma, Hash, Carl, James, Alex, Chris, Vicky, Pei, Nina, Kerrie and Claire, and everyone in the other group, especially my angels Vicky B and Laura E. Just a thought, don't u wish Ms King could be there at uni to continue with the 'spoon-feeding'?? lol.
But am just so BORED of exams already, there r far too many of them. We should protest. Wot do ya say peeps? But I am worried about this one, I kno the stuff is there in my brain somewhere, I just can't find it! I know someone who reckons u can't muck up sociology as long as u argue your point well enough. Well I hope so, cos I'm completely shattered, and will have to finish revising in the 3 hours I have at school 2mo morning b4 the exam. But for those of u going through all this at a later date, if u do get stressed, talk to someone. A teacher u really get on with, parents.... whoever. But remember that your friends r going through the same thing, so although they'll understand, and however much they love u, they'll be pretty preoccupied.
Love and peace darlings!!! keep sane. or try to! xx
2 tired 2 care
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 22:03:18 (BST)

Ok, so I'm back at school, and I thought I'd take a little break from revision! Being tired and ill (and not because I'm blonde thank you!) I forgot that there was no more assembely or form time, so I've basically came in for noe reason. Vicky stayed at home, and Laura has an art exam and various people are either not here or in lessons. A perfect time to revise I hear you cry.. well sorrry, but I just can't focus on anything.

Walking into school this morning felt so weird, there really is only a few more times of doing that, and then it's over. No more. Obviously a good thing, but kinda sad as well. I know we did the whole memories thing at the end of year 11, but this time it really is the end. Even though loads of the people that were in high school with us, or even year 12, are working, or at city college, this is the perfect time to be thinking about everyone and everything. Think of everyone you see at school nearly everyday, by september, us year 13s will probably not see most of those people again. Though the cool thing about this site is that it should make it slightly easier to keep in touch, even arrange a reunion or something.

Anyways, I'm gonna start rambling or something here, or get too sentimental, so I'm gonna go, and maybe revise, but more likely play about online! byeee xx
almost 'THE END'
- Wednesday, June 04, 2003 at 10:33:20 (BST)

Some half term this has been! After the excitement of the Ball, then going out with my boyfriend (who was on leave from RAF training), for a meal and to see Matrix reloaded, I just sorta 'slumped' and became quite ill. Y'know, headache, sore throat, loss of voice, sleeplessness... Which means revision has been scarily non-existant, and I'm no longer sure if I want to go to uni. Having always been seen as quite intelligent, I kinda took the whole going to uni thing for granted, but now it's getting closer, I'm beginning to freak out a little. Maybe it's just the whole being away by myself thing, but I'm starting to doubt as to whether or not I could cope. Is anyone else feeling like this??? I mean I quite like the idea of going away, being independent, and living the student lifestyle, but not by myself.
OK, maybe time I actually wrote something about 6th form: I started 6th form with the aim of going to uni, and get the feeling that if I don't go, these past two years have been a waste. On the other hand, I thoroughly recommend 6th form for anyone, even if you know you definately don't want to go to uni. We've all grown up so much, friendships have been formed (and broken), and I think we know ourselves a lot better. My own time here has been pretty hectic, not counting the actual studying, but also changing my friendship groups a bit and gaining 2 really close friends who I know I'll always stay in touch with, realising that (most) of my teachers are actually really ok, taking on more responsibility, gaining confidence, surviving the bad times as well, and last but ABSOLUTLEY not least, meeting an AMAZING guy. And my year group got on pretty well through high school, but we've been even closer in 6th form, and I'm gonna miss more of them than I though possible! So anyway, enough of all this cos my mum just brough s'mores through. And if you don't know what they are, you're missing a little bit of junk food heaven! Later all xx
I hate being ill :-(
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 19:57:26 (BST)

Well firday night seemed to go quite well I really apologise for the probs with the seating, I still ain't sure if that was their fault or ours. Thanks to all who went and made it a good night, I'm sure parts were pretty unforgettable. I thought I was gonna be so tired after 3.5 hours sleep, but luckily I was not, as i then went out last night. (Did U enjoy The MAtrix Reloaded Mr Ball? Me and Bob did!)
So half term has begun, and with it the panic of exams. Why is it so hard to just sit down and begin revision??? :-( this is not going well. Ah well, and before I forget, good luck to everyone with exams, but especially to they year 13s. These past two years have been pretty life changing, so may things continue to go well, and may we all live lie to the fill. xx
what a weekend!
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 11:50:56 (BST)

Amazing, I mention my name's wrong, and a coupla hours later, it's fixed! Anyways, I dunno what I'm doing online, am supposed to be revising. Am doing English Lit, History and Sociology A-levels, (scary) and results are on my 18th birthday!!!!!!!!! I hope it's a good day, cos I wanna do an English/History degree. Ah well, could be an extra excuse for mass alcohol consumtion! more after the Ball, x
yay!
- Tuesday, May 20, 2003 at 18:37:50 (BST)

And I thought the Doc was good at setting up these pages. so how come mine said "the life and times of Natalie", when I'm Paula??
Woo, summer ball in 3 days. And after spending so long organising it, I'm really looking forward to the actual night. Word of warning to whoever sorts it out next year, get some friends to help! I could not hav done it without Laura and Vicky- thank u angels! and of course everyone else who printed tickets, made posters etc, and those teddy awards r so darling!
Exams r only a few weeks away :-( and i feel so unprepared! and not a lot will get done this weekend. ah well, in face of the depression brought on by the dreaded 'E' word, it's time for a wander in the direction of shops and chocolate! later, x
how'd he get it wrong?
- Tuesday, May 20, 2003 at 12:37:01 (BST)